Posted by peterska2 on Apr 23, 2009 in
Random Things From Emails at 4:01 pm
Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital and had been married for fifty years.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. she swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you’re being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.’
Edna replied, ‘He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?’
Tags: funny, joke, jokes
Posted by peterska2 on Apr 22, 2009 in
Random Things From Emails at 9:09 am
A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist.
‘Come now,’ coaxed the doctor, you’ve been seeing me for years! There’s nothing you can’t tell me.’
‘This one’s kind of strange…’
‘Let me be the judge of that,’ The doctor replied.
‘Well,’ she said, ‘yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies.’
‘I see..’
‘That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl.’
‘That night,’ she went on, ‘I went again, Plink-plink-plink, and there were dimes and this morning there were quarters ! You’ve got to tell me what’s wrong with me!,’ she implored, ‘I’m scared out of my wits!’
The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. ‘There, there, it’s nothing to be scared about.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Ready for this?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(I’m warning you…..)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
‘You’re simply going through the change!’
Tags: fun, funny, joke, jokes, women
Posted by peterska2 on Apr 22, 2009 in
Random Things From Emails at 4:05 am
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted “CRAZY” then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who’s blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was “CRAZY” and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked “What are you doing?”
I told him I was a light bulb. He said “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days”.
I jumped down and walked out of the office.
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her “…And where do you think you’re going?”
Read more…
Tags: blondes, funny, joke, jokes
Posted by peterska2 on Apr 17, 2009 in
Random Things From Emails at 2:20 pm
I saw this and although it is totally not PC I still found it incredibly funny!
In deference to the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Royal Commission for Political Correctness, it was announced today that the local climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as ‘British weather’
In order to avoid offending a portion of the population, it will now be referred as ‘Muslim weather’
In other words - partly Sunni but mostly Shi’ite
Tags: funny, joke, weather