Flixton Aviation Museum

I’ve spent some time at the aviation museum in Flixton this afternoon. It was really interesting and I got to take lots of photos.

Unfortunately we didn’t really have enough time there. I would have liked to have had a couple of hours minimum there and we only had an hour, so it was pretty much a quick dash around to look at as much as possible and to take photos of as many things as possible so for every photo I took I also took one of the information plaque so that I can read it later.

I’ve just imported the photos to my computer and I’m laughing at myself. I had noticed that the date and time on my camera were wrong so I changed it. I’ve put the date in the wrong format though, so the dates have come out as 09/05/2013 instead of 13/05/2009. I’ll have to remember to correct that again before tomorrow! At least the time is right even if the date is wrong though!

There’s no entertainment on tonight, so after dinner I’ll probably have a bath and an early night. Going to go and have a drink or two with a few people now. They said they would save me a spot in the hotel bar. It’s really good that everyone is getting on so well. It is making it a great holiday. In fact, I’ll probably book another of these for later in the year to get away for a few days again.

Tags: aviation, drinks, Flixton, history, holiday, museums, photos, planes, vacation

Australian aircraft cabin announcements

Rarely, Australian airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight ’safety lecture’ and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On an Air NZ Flight with a very ’senior’ flight attendant crew, the Pilot
said, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will
be turning down the cabin lights This is for your comfort and to
enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.’

On landing the hostess said, ‘Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.’

‘There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways to leave the aircraft.’

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Auckland, a lone Voice came over the loudspeaker: ‘Whoa, big fella. WHOA!’

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Adelaide, a flight attendant on a Qantas flight announced, ‘Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as **** everything has shifted.’

From a Qantas employee: ‘Welcome aboard Qantas Flight X to Y to operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public un-supervised.’

‘In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.

‘Weather at our destination is 32 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Qantas Airlines.’

‘Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.’

Heard on Qantas Airlines just after a very hard landing in Hobart.  The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, ‘That was quite bump and I know what you are all thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight
attendant’s fault… it was the asphalt!’

Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: ‘We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.’

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers
exited, smile, and give them a ‘Thanks for flying United. ‘He said
that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart
comment. Finally everyone had got off except for an old lady walking
with a cane. She said, ‘Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?’ ‘Why no
Ma’am,’ said the pilot. ‘What is it?’
The little old lady said, ‘Did we land or were we shot down?’

After a real crusher of a landing in Sydney, the Flight Attendant
came on with, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.’

Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: ‘We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurised metal tube, we hope you’ll think of Qantas.’

A plane was taking off from Mascot Airport. After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number XYZ, non-stop from Sydney to Auckland. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - ARGHHH! OH, MY GOD!’ Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap.  You should see the front of my pants!’
A passenger in Economy said, ‘That’s nothing. He should see the back of mine!’

Tags: aircraft, announcements, flights, funny, planes